Creating Real "Social Distance"

5 Ways to Create Boundaries With Unhealthy Mimetic Models

Most of us have at least a couple of people in our life who function as unhealthy mimetic models. We need to know what they’re up to. We care what they think. We care what they want.

A friend of mine worked for Goldman Sachs after college. He quickly became embroiled in a competitive rivalry with a fellow analyst. When he learned that this fellow had received a slightly higher year-end bonus than him, he was infuriated.

Over the next year, my friend started watching his rival closely to see when he left the office each night. He made a point of staying at least an hour later than the other guy—and he found subtle ways to make sure the right people (their superiors) knew about it.

The next year, my friend earned the highest bonus possible for a second-year analyst. He was in the top “bucket,” as they say. This gave him some short-lived peace of mind knowing there was no way his rival could’ve out-earned him.

These guys were both extremely smart and talented. They were frequently mentione…